|Available right here!|
I appreciate that reading erotica is only made possible by someone else being involved. Someone else has to write the thing. (Of course, I occasionally write erotica myself but I only masturbate to it when it's still in the conceptual stage. Wanking over one's finished novella would be unforgivably vain.)
The thing is, reading is a funny old process and reading in one's head, in my experience, is nothing like reading out loud. I don't read at anything like the slow, tortoise-y speed I would do if I were reading something to someone else. Most of the time I am not conscious of reading the words at all. It's more like the words and phrases and atmosphere and stuff are being dropped directly into my brain in much the same way that Arnold Schwarzenegger had those memories implanted in Total Recall.
|Or did he?|
I listened to all three of the Westerfield books, (The Westerfield Affair, The Reddington Scandal and The Darlington Incident) in order. They all share the same narrator - Elliot Daniels, a deep voiced Thespian type prone to dramatic over-enunciation.
And, yeah, it was kind of embarrassing listening to some of it. I found myself blushing when talk turned to "wet swollen folds" and "moist pleats". Because despite being unutterably filthy, I am also - it turns out - a bit of a prude.
You might not want to listen to these books during your daily commute. You know when there's someone on the train who's music is blaring out to the whole carriage? I often wonder if they realise or if maybe they have stuck the headphones in wrong and are completely oblivious that they're making everyone else in the vicinity listen to Union J. (I don't check with them of course because I would literally rather die than talk to a stranger on public transport). I would worry that the accidental blaring out noise person would be me. Only instead of sharing my taste in music, I would accidentally be sharing my taste in spanking-based erotica to a carriage full of strangers. (Although, I suppose if the right person overheard it, that could turn out quite swimmingly. That's a meet-cute waiting to be written right there.)
|"Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing that you seem to be really really enjoying that book."|
So, Daniels clearly wasn't told to tone down his performance. Rather he was encouraged to roll those 'r's and exaggerate the drama as much as possible. "Go on, stick a few more vowel sounds into 'daaaahnced'" he was probably told. "Really go for it."
Daniels also seems to have decided to base Lord Westerfield's voice on Sam the Eagle from the Muppet Show. It's a brave decision but not one I feel that he totally manages to pull off.
|"Take me to your room. You have a very long, hard spanking coming."|
I'm not sure if I'll listen to any other Renee Rose books as audiobooks. I am probably not the best audiobook customer to be honest. I hate wearing headphones and I get distracted when the narrator tries to do different voices for each of characters. Plus, apparently, the embarrassment factor of having a man I don't know saying "warm cock". Although, to be honest, I got over that one by about halfway through the first book.
I wonder who the main erotica audiobook customers are? I bet it's Grannies. Grannies love an audiobook, surely. Especially one of Renee's. Sexy spankings, Regency intrigue and a narrator who sounds like he's doing a Charles Dance impression ramped up to 300%. What more could one possibly want?
|Oh god yes, that's it.|