Well, hello there. Come in. Make yourself comfortable. Cup of tea? Maybe a mini-twix? (Well I say, 'twix' but they're actually Sainsbury's own pretend twixes because I think the biscuit tastes nicer.)
As of last weekend, I became a published author of spanking fiction. My first book, His Lordship's Apprentice was published by Blushing Books.
You'd think my life would have been a whirlwind of excitement, glamour and mild sexual fetishism since then but, nah, not so much. Largely, because I haven't actually told anyone I've written it.
I'm not ashamed of it - I'm rather fond of it in fact. But I think the half dozen or so opportunities I find for the protagonist to spank the heroine's bottom rather gives away more about my own sexual fantasies than I want my real-life friends and family to know about. And there's sex in it. Penises* and everything. (Although I have been advised by my publishers to try to make it hotter next time. "Don't be afraid to be a little less restrained; remember, you are writing for an erotica market and it's OK to be a little more descriptive, or frank with your language." they said.)
So I'm quietly checking my Amazon rankings (without the slightest clue what they mean with regard to actual book sales) and writing the next spanking novel which I am tentatively calling "Like the Lightning" because it's both a quote from Romeo & Juliet and a cunning reference to the hero's work with electricity. Given that I've been told to be less restrained in my sex scenes, expect even more penises next time. Well the same number of penises** but described in greater detail and more enthusiastically employed.
Please go read the first chapter of my book on Blushing Books website. (You get slightly more of it there than if you get a free Kindle sample from Amazon. That one cuts you off before the first spanking.) And then go buy it for actual cash money if you like. If you're a fan of short, sweet romantic fiction set in late Victorian London with a load of spankings and numerous references to magic tricks and London landmarks then it's incredibly fortunate you stopped by. Bit of a lucky coincidence really.
* Well, one penis.
** Still one penis.